To Start Anew
by Sadainea
Summary: After the war Hermione spiraled into a depression that she can't get out of. She pushed away her friends, her family, everyone. But one person refuses to be pushed. Does she have the strength to pull her out of the black abyss that her life has become? Started as a one shot but kinda got away from me.
1. Chapter 1

A/N - So it's been a really long time since I tried writing anything. A lot happened and I just kinda gave up. Well I am going to try again. So here goes something. Read and review please. I don't own the Harry Potter Universe. I wish.

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After the war Hermione had turned into a quiet riot really. She never came out and did anything that the Hogwarts staff saw, but she was in the infirmary what seemed like every other day with cuts and bruises or broken bones. Minerva, who in her own opinion, counted herself among Hermione's friends, was beginning to get worried. She honestly would have confronted the girl about it sooner but every time she tried the young witch found a reason to be somewhere else. Minerva had asked Harry and Ron about it many times but always came back with the same answer, they continually asked but never got any answers. Hermione never spoke to them about anything anymore.

The end of Christmas break had rolled around and Minerva found Hermione in Myrtle's bathroom. Quickly the older woman disillusioned herself to watch her star pupil. The young woman was nursing several cuts that had been sewed up with muggle stitches, dabbing them gently with a wet cloth then proceeded to wrap them with bandages. She pulled a bottle out of her bag with a package of cotton balls. The bottle had a clear liquid in it and Hermione very gently used the cotton balls to apply it to several massive, purple bruises and a few smaller yellow ones that decorated her arms and legs. Having finished this the girl turned so that her side was facing the mirror, and very carefully, very slowly lifted the hem of her shirt. What Minerva saw made her heart almost stop. The bruising on the girl's rib cage was horrific. The shades of yellow, green, blue, and purple were a definite contrast to the girls normally pale skin.

Hermione slowly pulled a washcloth from her bag and soaked it in the witch-hazel she carried with her. The bruising was all that was left of the 4 broken ribs she had suffered. Even that was going to be slow healing though. She knew enough about healing magic to fix her ribs having read several books on the theory before. The bruising though, that she wanted to heal slowly. The dull ache in most of her body reminded her that she was still alive. That she could still feel. She didn't take joy in learning anymore, didn't take joy in performing magic. Even Ron and Harry had turned their backs on her because she had become so cold. She hadn't cared though. Hadn't even cried when he told her they were over. She just couldn't feel. She placed the cloth back in her bag and looked herself in the eyes.

The woman staring back at her, that wasn't Hermione Granger, that was a shell. Not even a human being just a body. Speaking out loud she whispered to no one, "I would rather live to take the Dementor's kiss a hundred times, and feel the icy terror at the knowledge that they are stealing my soul, than live with this, this nothingness." She pulled from beneath her shirt a necklace then. On it hung a small razor blade. She pulled it off the chain and uncapped the sharp point. Carefully, gently so as not to put too much pressure and accidently cause herself to bleed out, she dragged the blade across her wrist. Once, the warmth of the blood running down her arm made her smile bitterly. Twice and she was closing her eyes as the tension of keeping up her façade left her body. Three times and the blade was yanked out of her hand and thrown across the bathroom.

"What do you think you are doing?" She looked up into the eyes of her Headmistress.

"Nothing I haven't done before." Was the dead answer.

"Come on. We are going to get you looked at by Madam Pomfrey, then we will discuss your recent behavior, Miss Granger." The older witch wrapped her hand around Hermione's arm and started to walk away but the young woman was having none of it.

"Why?" She demanded. "Why should I bother? Why do you care? No one else does so what the fuck reasons do you have? Or are you just another person pretending to care that's just going to walk away? Just like Harry did. Just like Ron did. My parents. Ginny. Everyone. You don't know shit about me anymore professor so forgive my French but fuck off." The girl grabbed her bag and started to walk away but Minerva grabbed her wrist.

"Detention Miss Granger, 7o'clock sharp, my office, and don't you dare be late or you will find yourself loathing my company through your months' worth of detention. Do I make myself clear?" To say that Minerva McGonagall was pissed was an understatement. She was livid. Never had she allowed anyone to speak to her in such a manner. She would be damned to hell before she would allow Hermione to get away with it. Though she was angry with the girl she still kept in mind what she had seen and tried not to frighten the girl any more than necessary.

"Yes, Professor. Perfectly." With that said the young girl left the bathroom at a quick trot and made her way to her room. There she sat down and gazed at her reflection in the mirror. Bags under her eyes showed just how much sleep she got on a regular basis. Between the memories of the war and the argument she had with her parents and all of her friends turning against her she was constantly plagued with nightmares that left her shaking, screaming, and drenched in a cold sweat.

The rats and knots in her hair showed just how much she cared for herself anymore. She reached up and brushed a stubborn strand away from her face. When her wrist grazed her forehead she realized that, in her anger, Minerva had forgotten about taking her to see Poppy. Blood streaked into her hair from the cuts. Reaching down into her bag, which had been flung haphazardly underneath her bed, the young woman pulled out a handful of butterfly sutures and bandages. Reaching down again her fingers grazed something hard. Pulling it out she looked at the portrait of Minerva and her that had been taken almost 3 years prior at the Christmas they had all spent at Grimmauld Place. The people in the image were laughing and smiling. Things were so much happier back then.

She didn't know how long she stared at the photo, she often lost track of time these days, but thunder chose that moment to rip through the silence and tear her away from her thoughts. She glanced at the clock that hung on the wall. 7:38. _Well shit. _She thought _guess I better get used to the woman while I've got the chance. I'm going to be spending a lot of time with her in the future. _That daunting thought in mind Hermione made her way to the Headmistress's office.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N – So I was surprised really, with the response to my first chapter, which I did some updating on so it might be a good idea to go back and re-read that. Thanks for all the encouraging words. So here is chapter 2. Still don't own the HP universe. I wish.

When Hermione walked into McGonagall's office the first thing she noticed was a chair sitting in front of the older woman's desk. It was plain with no arms or cushioning. It sat dead center, straight across from the stern woman that owned it. Said woman's head snapped up when Hermione closed the door behind her.

"Ms. Granger, sit please. You're late. Did you not remember my warning or did you simply choose not to heed it?" The emerald eye staring at her, eyes the young woman used to admire, used to dream about, but no more. There was no room for admiration amongst the cold anymore. No room for dreams amongst the nightmares. She sat.

"Neither professor, I- I lost track of the time. I apologize."

"Be that as it may, get used to coming here every evening for the next month. Understood?"

"Yes Ma'am." Hermione hung her head and simply avoided looking at the woman sitting in front of her. "What shall my punishment be professor? Will you have me writing lines or scrubbing tables?"

"No Ms. Granger I won't. I simply want to talk to you." With that said McGonagall stood and walked around the desk and knelt next to the younger Gryffindor. She took Hermione's arm in gentle fingers and placed her other hand over where she knew, if she were to slide the sleeve up, she would find scars and cuts ranging in color from old silvery to new and pink. "I am not going to ask you about these." She watched the young woman's head almost fly off her shoulder's as she looked at her mentor and it almost caused her to chuckle, almost. "No you aren't ready to talk about it yet and I respect that. I do on the other hand want to know about the other bruises. Are you being hurt at home? Or here?"

"NO! Well sort of at home but not exactly."

"Did your parents do this to you?"

"No I don't even speak to my parents anymore. I didn't spend the winter holiday with them so no, they couldn't have. This wasn't abuse ok?" Hermione looked away from the woman.

"Ok, what are they from then?"

"Sport."

The professor's eyebrows shot into her hairline. "A sport caused this? What were you playing?" The older witch knew that Quidditch was a brutal game but she didn't know of any muggle sprts that would cause bruises like this.

"It's called Roller Derby. Honestly it puts Quidditch brutality to shame professor. The object is to lap the other team."

"I'm confused." The woman admitted.

Hermione pulled a quill, some ink and some paper towards her and drew up a diagram for the professor to look at. "We all wear skates, shoes with wheels on them. And we go around this circle. The object is to get around the circle and pass the other team. The problem being, there are pretty much no rules. It is a fully contact sport."

"So the bruises on your ribs?"

"Got run over by one of the other team members." She shrugged. To her this was no big deal. She had been playing for a long time.

"But surely they would have healed by now. When did your season end?"

"The day before we came back from break."

"Where did you stay for break if not with your parents by the way?" the older witch was concerned that she may have been staying on the streets.

"With Baby Doll, the jammer for our squad. She is the one that the rest of the team has to help with lapping the other team. She and I have always been really close friends."

"Ok. So that explains that. Why do you play such a hurtful sport then?" The professor straightened and pulled her chair from behind her desk to face Hermione's.

"Because it is so hurtful."

"I'm afraid I don't follow."

"I play Derby for the same reason I cut myself, mostly. I mean I really do love the sport it's awesome and I love my team, but I play because it hurts. Just like with cutting. It makes me feel something, feeling pain is better than feeling nothing at all. It's the only way I know I'm still alive anymore. I…" McGonagall held up her hand.

"I understand. Hermione why did you never come to me with this? Talk to Harry and Ron about…"

"NO!" the young woman almost fell over in her haste to get away from her professor. "No I can't- I…They don't…they never really…" Hermione was backing away from the older woman until her back met the stone wall behind her. They terrified expression in the girls eyes told horror stories that no one should even think about. She wrapped her arms around herself and doubled over, trying, for all she was worth, to block out the memories over coming her.

_Bellatrix sitting on her chest, taunting her. Lucius Malfoy whispering in her ear all his venom. The two of them telling their stories._

"_They only liked you for your brain." Lucius taunted._

"_The Boy Who Lived would never truly like a filthy mudblood like you. You were nothing but an easy 'O' to him. A good grade." Bellatrix's breath was hot and stung on her flesh. Her blade dug into Hermione's arm punctuating all her words, ensuring that no matter how long passed, she would always remember the hateful words. Her body felt dead, like she couldn't fight anymore. So she didn't._

Hermione was pulled from the memory by strong hands grabbing her arms and pulling her forward, away from the wall. She was enveloped in a tight hug and suddenly, as if this embrace had turned on the spigot, she began to cry. For the first time since he stay at Malfoy manner, she cried.

Her professor held her. Whispered soothing nonsense in her ear and stroked her back. "It's going to be ok Hermione. I will help you."

Slowly the young woman began to calm down and pulled away from her mentor. "I don't know what to say."

"Let me help you Hermione. Let me show you how to get through this." The older woman was pleading with her.

"Ok, professor. I don't really think there is anything anyone can do. But ok. I will try."

"Then I think it should be k if you call me Minerva, when we are in private, since we will be seeing a lot of each other in the coming weeks."

"Alright, Minerva."

"Go back to your dormitory now. I will see you tomorrow in class." The girl started for the door. "Oh Hermione," brown eyes met green, "What made you late today?"

"I was looking at a picture of you and I that Christmas at Grimmauld Place." With that the young witch was gone, leaving a dazed Minerva staring after her.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- Sorry for the delay. Life got a little crazy for a few. So here is the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I still don't own. I still wish.

_She was back, chained to that floor in Malfoy Manor. The vaulted ceiling stared down at her, taunting her, daring her to try and get away. She could feel the burning in her arm that told her the vile word was still carved into the flesh. She was shaking uncontrollably. Fear held her body paralyzed in an icy grip. Her eyes darted from corner to corner in the room searching for any sign of Bellatrix._

_She felt sick as the bottom dropped out of her stomach and she felt herself fall through the floor. She landed with a hard, sickening crunch as she looked around. There was nothing but blackness surrounding her as she slowly stood. Her legs felt like jelly and barely supported her weight. She took a step forward and fell into a pathetic heap tearing her already ratty clothing even more. She looked up towards the place she had fallen from. A small speck of light against the blackness was her only comfort here, one very small piece of hope against all the darkness that invaded her senses._

_That light was blocked out. "Why would we ever want to be your friend?" a disembodied voice asked. _

"_You are too weird. Too smart. Unnatural."_

"_There was no real friendship."_

"_Too easy to fool."_

_Too easy to break."_

_Harry and Ron's voices swirled around her, invading her mind and taking over her thoughts. She stood and ran. She didn't know where she was going but she kept running. _

_There! Up ahead there was light. She realized too late that the light was broken by bars. She was in a cell. On the other side Ron and Harry were holding onto each other trying to stay standing while they pointed and laughed at her._

"_The Mudblood actually thinks we will help her." The image of Harry was pointing at her arm._

"_Why should we? She is filth, just like Bellatrix marked her." Ron laughed and doubled over._

_Tears streamed down Hermione's face. Harry pulled his wand. "We don't need you anymore. Avada-"_

"NOOOO!" Hermione shot up out of bed. Sweat poured from her in waves and she shivered against the sudden cold that enveloped her body. Scrambling against the blackness that was the early hours of the morning she grabbed her wand. She couldn't see, the darkness was suffocating her. "Lumos," She whispered quietly. A small ball of illumination lit up the end of her wand. She looked around. The thick red curtains that surrounded her bed provided a shield against the rest of the room. They were also the borders of her silencing charm.

Scrambling off the bed, she dug through her trunk and pulled out a pair of worn jeans and a tight fitting t-shirt. Pulling off her pajamas she dressed and grabbed her skates. She walked down to the common room before putting the knee high rolling shoes on and lacing them comfortably. They had been the last gift her parents had given her before she had sent them to Australia. They hadn't been too thrilled when she had given their memories back, hence the reason they weren't speaking and she was no longer welcome in their house. Her parents had tolerated her magic but having it used against them had been the last straw.

The doors to the infamous and much sought after room opened to reveal an entire derby court complete with spinning dummy's, whose arms were set at different heights to test her as she went around the track. She took off. Keeping her body tight and her arms close she built up as much speed as she could. For the first few minutes she skated to make the memories and nightmares stop racing through her mind, stop torturing her.

She was just beginning to clear her head when she was struck across the side by one of the spinning arms. She fell and her head struck the hard wood floor, not hard enough to render her unconscious but still hard enough to make the room spin. Getting to her knees she shook her head to clear it and gingerly touched her side, then added more pressure. Nothing felt broken so she stood again.

This time around the track she focused on weaving and jumping and keeping herself perpendicular to the floor, which worked most of the time, although more than once she found herself flat on her back because of a minor miscalculation. The girl hit her head several times during this exercise and had to wipe blood off her face, to keep it from dripping in her eyes, more than once. Standing she made her way to a window. The sun was up. Which meant it was time for breakfast. Which meant she had to face the entire student body again. This time though it wasn't the students she was worrying about the most. Professor McGonagall. Professor Can't-Mind-Her-Own-Fucking-Business-McGonagall. Wonderful.

Hermione left the room and headed for the Great Hall. Upon arriving she skated towards the empty portion of Gryffindor table. Before reaching her destination however Pansy Parkinson kicked a Slytherin bench into her way. Hermione grinned at the blatant, though easy challenge. Pushing off a little harder she sped up, jumped and easily cleared the width of the bench, sat down on it, then turned and stuck her tongue out at the gaping girl. Finally she moved and sat in her customary place, with atleast4 seats between her and anyone else.

Up at the head table Madam Hooch, the yellow, hawk-eyed, professor of flying arched an eyebrow and watched as the young woman grabbed a napkin, wet it with water and used her spoon as a mirror to clean patches of dried blood off her face. The things on her feet were, intriguing, to say the least. The pure-blood with had never seen anything like these things before and she was eager to know more about them. So she watched the young woman all throughout the morning meal. When she stood to leave, so did the professor, who headed to intercept her.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N – Sorry for such a long delay. The holidays are always kind of hectic so I decided to put writing on hold while they were taking place. Well here is chapter 4.

Disclaimer – I do not own. Wish I did. Things would have turned out much differently!

Potions first thing in the morning. Wonderful. Although she had to admit it was better than Transfiguration. She would rather deal with Snape right now than McGonagall. Thinking back to that night in the Shrieking Shack and working furiously to save his life always made her feel the need to head for the bathrooms again. Not because she regretted saving him, no, but because she hated thinking about those times.

Since then though, she and the strict potions professor had developed a friendship, of sorts. She knew that if she needed someone to talk to then he was always willing to listen, not that she ever did. He, just like McGonagall, seemed determined to make her talk about things that were just too painful to relive at the moment. At least he was nicer to her though. Especially since, while she was still receiving top marks in all of her classes, she no longer felt the need to answer every question first. Remembering those days made her smirk at herself. She had been an insufferable know-it-all back then. It had taken her this many years and a war for her to realize that.

She skated her way towards the dungeons taking turns at speeds that normally would have made her teammates fall, but she was used to the harsh turns in the hallways by now. She started to round a corner only to be grabbed from behind. A foolish move for whomever it was because the young witch quickly turned drawing her wand as she went, and before she took notice of the person's identity, had it pointed between their eyes.

Madam Hooch held up her hands and stepped back. "I apologize, I didn't mean to scare you." Truthfully the flying instructor was rather intimidated at having one of the most powerful witches in the world draw her wand on her.

"Sorry," Hermione muttered as she slipped her wand back under her sleeve, into the arm holster. "What can I do for you Madam Hooch?"

"What are you wearing?"

"Jeans and a t-shirt."

"You know what I mean Ms. Ganger." Hooch said raising an eyebrow at the young woman.

"They are called skates. I wear them for practice." She grudgingly admitted. She hated talking about this. She had been interrogated by one professor about it already, was another going to demand to know why she played as well?

"Practice what? Come here." She led Hermione into an empty classroom and the both sat at a table to discuss what this was.

"Roller derby. It's a sport in the muggle world." Conjuring parchment, ink, and quill the brunette drew up the track, all the while explaining the rules to her instructor.

"Sounds like fun." The spikey haired witch said. "Teach me? I would like to learn to play this game."

Hermione's jaw dropped open. Was the woman serious? She actually wanted to learn? She wasn't sure which shocked her more, the fact that Hooch wanted her to teacher her to play, or the fact that Hooch wanted to spend time with her. Most people only avoided her anymore. "You're serious?"

"Yeah. Sounds easy enough to learn but I wouldn't want to try on my own. So teach me."

"O-oh ok. Sure. I can do that. Meet me in the Room of Requirement after classes are over today and we will get started. Just be aware that I have detention with Professor McGonagall for the next month. So I have to be there after dinner every night." She informed the older woman.

"That's not a problem Hermione. Thank you though, for agreeing to this." They stood and made their way to the door.

"No problem, Madam Hooch. It's my favorite game; I have no problem teaching those that want to learn about it." The younger woman spun on her wheels to look at the witch. For the first time she really looked at her. That was when she realized that her former flying instructor was absolutely gorgeous. She looked away. "There will have to be some ground rules though."

"Oh? And what would those be?"

"You don't ask me anything about my past. Nothing about anything you see. In turn I won't ask about you."

"Hermione I don't have a problem with you asking about my past. I don't have any secrets to hide. Granted it is a little unorthodox for you to be teaching me, but I personally don't care. So I don't care if it is unorthodox for us to get to know each other either. Generally speaking I'm not a big stickler for the rules anyway." Hooch grinned but it quickly faded when Hermione shook her head.

"Unorthodox or not, just don't ask ok?"

"Alright, I won't." she agreed. She knew Hermione was battling depression. All of the teachers knew. Part of her reasoning for wanting to learn this sport was so that she could keep an eye on her. After seeing the way she acted in her skates this morning, more like the Hermione everyone knew instead of the hollow shell, she had decided that she would do whatever was necessary to get the girl to smile again, skates or no.

"Well I have to get to class, thank you f-" Hermione stopped herself.

"For what?"

Hermione looked up into hawk-like yellow eyes and felt as though she was about to drown in their color. She blushed and looked back down. "For wanting to spend time with me."

Gentle fingers touched under the brunette's chin tilting her face back up to look at the flying instructor. "You are a wonderful girl, Hermione. Anyone should feel privileged to spend even a moment with you." Tears slowly began to crawl into the young woman's eyes and jump off the ledges of her lashes. Seeing the salt water suicide beginning, Hooch wrapped Hermione in a bone crushing hug. "You may not trust me enough to talk to me about what happened, but I promise you that no matter what you tell me, no matter what you have or haven't done, no matter what, I will be here for you. When you are ready to talk, I will be here. Granted we haven't had any sort of friendship in the past but I can't stand the thought of you hurting anymore. You have been through too much hurt already."

Hermione froze listening to Hooch's words and finally allowed herself to sob. Crying again. Twice in less than 24 hours. This time though, she had a feeling that after it was over, she might actually feel better. Because instead of pushing for her to talk to someone, anyone about what had happened, for once, someone was willing to simply wait. To wait until she was ready to talk.

Her sobbing slowed and finally died. Looking up she whispered a quiet thank you, then turned to leave. On her way out she heard her name called softly. "When we are alone," the older woman said, "call me Rolanda."

A/N – So there it is. Chapter 4. Review please!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N – So the umph to write chapter five has eluded me for the past few weeks and didn't strike until 2:00 in the morning. Not the greatest time for creative juices to be flowing but hey, I'll take what I can get.

Disclaimer – I own nothing but the story line.

Classes passed by in their normal routine, with Hermione sitting in the back of the rooms, not raising her hand, not speaking to anyone, with her nose buried in her book, already several chapters ahead of the rest of the class. Not that the teachers really cared where she was academically anymore. They all knew that if she wanted she could take her NEWTS tomorrow and pass with flying colors. No they were all worried about Hermione mentally. She hadn't been this quiet in her previous years and had always answered every question asked of her without thought. Now though, she was silent.

When the day ended it was only 2 in the afternoon. Dinner wasn't served until 7 that evening. She had 5 hours to kill teaching Hoo-Rolanda, how to skate. _Her first lesson, this should prove interesting, _Hermione though to herself as she made her way through the corridors to the room of requirement. She had been skating since she had awakened that morning and was finding that her legs were quickly getting tired. _After I show her the basics I'm taking these off for the rest of the day,_ she decided. Finally arriving at her destination she slipped inside and sat down to wait.

Glancing around she realized that there was a table holding all of the protective gear that was needed to play including the crash helmet, pads, and wrist guards. Had those been there earlier? If they had she hadn't noticed. Not that safety had been the forefront of her mind when she had come in here this morning. No that had been the least of her worries at the time. The only thing she had been focused on had been making the memories and nightmares go away. That was when she noticed something else different about the room. There was a pole sitting in the middle of the court that she was sure hadn't been there earlier that day. The pole, a skill that one of the girls on her team had taught her. It was the perfect was to stay in shape for tournaments and bouts. She never danced for anyone, only used it to stay limber and as another way to vent her anxiety.

The last thing she noticed about the room was the table on the far wall. Skating over she realized that her team uniform was on it and there was a door next to the table to a room where she could change, which she took full advantage of. Once she was attired like she normally would be, she moved to the table with the safety gear and put those on. It was as she was fastening the last of the straps on her wrist guards that the door into the room opened.

Rolanda stepped in dressed in her gear for a Quidditch match. Everything from the keeper's chest plate to the beater's bat. Hermione had the devil of a time keeping herself from falling over, she was laughing so hard. She glided over to her new friend and shook her head. Without saying anything to the white haired witch she pulled off the padded helmet, then the arm braces, the shin braces, and finally the chest plate. Taking her hand she pulled her over to where the correct pads were waiting on a table. She helped her fit the knees, elbows, wrists, and helmet, but left her to lace her own skates which had been under the table.

"Ok so first this is what we normally wear to our meets. Each person has a slightly different version of the uniform but this is a general copy." She watched and blushed as Hooch's eyes traveled slowly over her body. The yellow gaze slowly took in the knee high skates, excessively short shorts and tight half top that showed off her mid-section. The older witch met her stare with a smirk. "Right, so first lesson all we are going to focus on is staying upright and moving forwards." She offered her hand to Rolanda and helped her stand. "Now push off with one foot," Hermione demonstrated, "and allow yourself to glide on the other. Then just repeat on the other side."

The older witch tried and lost her balance. She slipped backwards and fell. Hermione offered her hand again, pulling the woman up. "It is going to take practice." She said with a smile. Rolanda glared at her and she held up her hands, "I'm not ridiculing you. I am merely stating a fact. It took me almost a week to get completely comfortable with skating. Though at the time I was practicing going forwards and backwards to secure a place on the team, so it probably won't take you as long."

Hooch fell another 4 times before finally managing to get the gliding part down. Hermione smiled as she watched the woman move slowly around the track. She seemed to have the hang of it so the brunette made her way to the center and sat on a bench pulling off her own skates and making her way over to the pole. She grabbed the cold steel with both hands and very slowly raised her body so that her legs were on either side. Hooking her knee around it she twisted so that she could repeat this procedure all the way to the top, where she thought about what she wanted and the solid standing pole became a spinning one. At this point she went into her normal routine of twists, flips, tricks, and flexes, all to keep herself limber.

Rolanda had been so focused on what she was doing that she hadn't noticed the pole at first. Not until Hermione had mounted it and was, what appeared to be dancing, around and on it. The instructor glided but wasn't focused on where she was going. Watching Hermione's slow, sensual movements had her completely distracted. Even more so the fact that she could see the scars that littered the young woman's arms and the nasty bruises on her ribcage as she flexed. At one point the girl, spinning in circles, had the pole caught behind one knee and was simply laying upon the metal fixture, upside down. Her gaze was clouded over and she seemed to be caught in an inner battle. All at once though she shook it off and wrapped both hands around the pole and lowered her legs so that they wrapped around again, this time Hermione was right way up. Caught as she was in watching the other woman's movements that she lost her balance and fell hard, face forward landing with her palms down.

The sounds of someone falling broke Hermione's concentration. She watched as Rolanda sat up to her knees and shook her head, as if to clear it, then stood and began to skate again. She locked her legs in place and watched as the woman made her way around the track again. Her movements spoke of grace and elegance. The gentle breeze cause by her slow drift, stirred the white hair on her head just caused it to twitch enough that it caught the eye. Her yellow eyes were focused on the track and her next turn. The strong features of her face were schooled not to give away any of what she was thinking but were gentle, and Hermione found herself suddenly admiring the strikingly gorgeous witch. Her mouth, the light color to her lips was enticing. The rest of her body, Hermione shuddered as a single though ran through her head, Power. Muscle rippled beneath skin and the young woman wanted to touch. Desperately did she want to feel that strength.

Just as she had decided to continue with what she had been doing before her friend fell, the dinner bell rang. She wasn't about to go down to the Great Hall in her Derby uniform. She quickly let go of the pole and dropped from the top. She landed lightly and Rolanda watched her run from through the same door as earlier to change back into her school clothes. Coming back out, she walked over to the older witch. "So? What do you think?"

"I think this may take some getting used to but, I am going to stick with it." The hawk-eyed woman answered.

"Great. I'll see you tomorrow then?" she asked looking up into her eyes. The woman was panting softly and her teeth showed in a friendly grin. The woman laughed and for the first time in a long time Hermione felt a true smile drawn to her lips. She watched her friend laugh and was again struck by her beauty.

"Yes Hermione. You will see me tomorrow, and now that I know the normal dress code, my guess is you will see a lot more of me than you did today." She winked at that last part.

"Well then I think I will be looking forward to our time together more and more. Definitely more than I was earlier today. I'll see you tomorrow…Ro." With that said, young witch left the room. Leaving Rolanda thinking, _I have never let anyone call me that. If that's all it takes to make her happy again though, I can make her the exception to that rule. The only exception._

A/N – So? Reviews are welcome ! Let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N – Ok so originally this was supposed to be a oneshot. See how well that worked out with my over active imagination, but I'm not complaining cause I am having fun with this so YAY! A hugely, massive, enormous shout out to my good friend Cenobite829 for putting up with all my random thoughts about this and helping me sort them into a coherent story! You Rock!

Disclaimer – Not mine, I still wish.

Dinner resembled breakfast and lunch, with Hermione sitting away from the rest of the school. This time though she didn't have her skates and she pushed her food around on her plate. She barely touched anything and left after only a few bites of bland mashed potatoes. Not able to force herself to eat anymore she stood and made her way towards her head of house's office. She knocked and there was no answer. So she figured that she was probably still at dinner, she hadn't been paying attention to the head table. The brunette sat next to the door and placed her bag next to her. Now was as good a time as any to change the bandaging on her arms.

She slowly unwrapped her left forearm and winced when she realized that the bandage was stuck to the wounds. She whimpered in pain as she tried to pull it off. She enjoyed pain, most of the time, but she hated when bandages stuck to wounds. Something about pulling them free always made her cringe. She readjusted her grip on the bandage, resigned to her fate, and had just begun to pull at it, when gentle hands stopped her. Hermione's eyes followed long fingers and arms up into the compassionate emerald eyes of Minerva McGonagall.

The older woman drew her wand and ran the tip over the stuck bandages. She didn't speak the spell she used aloud, but they seemed to pop free and fall away without any pain. A tear fell on the young woman's arms and she stared at Minerva. The woman looked horrified at what she had found beneath the gauze wraps. Scars ran in silver, red, and pink rivers up and down her young charge's arms. Deep, infected, cuts crisscrossed over the healed ones. Once again placing her wand on the girl's arm she muttered a healing spell, watching as the infection dried up and the cuts healed.

"Minerva I…"

"Don't Hermione. I don't want excuses. I want an answer. What were you thinking when you started this? Why would you decide to start hurting yourself?" the older witch demanded. She stood and pulled Hermione her office and sat her down in a chair.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Whether you want to or not, you will talk about it. I won't allow you to continue hurting yourself like this. I need to understand Hermione. Tell me what led you to do this? What happened to the three of you while you were on the run?" Minerva's voice echoed through the room, bouncing off the stone walls and reverberating back towards her.

Hermione wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes. Of course she would see it as something that happened to all three of them. She would never have imagined that the young witch could act on her own or be singled out of the group back then. Tears slowly began to streak down her face. "I don't want to talk about it Minerva, please, stop." Her voice was broken and pleading.

Realizing that she wasn't helping she stopped and looked down at her pupil. Sighing she knelt in front of the girl and took her hands in her own. "Alright, I will stop insisting. On one condition though," when the brunette didn't look at her she reached up and, with a finger under her chin, raised Hermione's eyes to look into her own. "The next time you feel like doing this," she shook her arms, "You must come to me. You don't have to talk about what happened. You don't have to tell me anything about what caused the pain you feel. I'm sorry I tried to make you talk about it today when only yesterday I told you I wouldn't. Just talk about the feelings that you feel when you do this, so that you don't do it anymore. Deal?"

The young woman looked down at Minerva, knelt in front of her. Her eyes were deep pools of liquid emerald that held a stern undertone but were also soft and understanding. The planes of her face spoke of her strict nature but also told a story of gentleness that was every once in a while displayed when a student needed her. Confusion over took her. She knew that she had feelings similar to these when she looked at Ro, similar but not the same. _I'll sort that out later, _she thought to herself.

Leaning forward she laid her head on Minerva's shoulder and sighed. "Ok, I will come and talk to you the next time I feel like hurting myself." Burying her face in Minerva's neck and inhaled her scent. Ink, parchment, and ginger invaded her senses and she smiled against the older woman's neck.

Minerva pulled away and stood. "Hermione, why don't you try and talk to Harry and Ronald about any of this? Surely they would help you." Turning she walked towards her desk.

"I don't want to talk about it Minerva. Any of it. That included. This is pointless so stop asking."

"You are going to have to give eventually Miss Granger. Either give me something or I can't help you and you will spend the next month writing lines instead of the easy detentions that you have set up where all you do is talk and drink tea." Minerva was livid. Here she was trying and trying to help Hermione in any way she could and the student shot her down at every turn.

"Easy?! You think this is easy for me. You and Snape seemed determined to make me talk about this, when I don't want to. At least he caught the hint and stopped asking though. Everyone I know and loved has turned their backs on me. I. Don't. Want. To. Talk. That's it. Stop asking. I can't say I will ever want to talk, and even if I do, I don't know whether it will be you I come see to talk about it. Goodnight Professor." Hermione stood and grabbed her bag. Tears ran in rivers down her face and she stalked quickly to the door. "And for the record, I'd prefer writing lines." The door slammed behind her, leaving a stunned Minerva standing in the middle of the room staring after her.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N – So my darling other half and I just moved into a new apartment. Then we both lost our jobs and had to make the long trek from Oklahoma to California. *cries*. Sorry about the delay, but I am in the process of joining the army and any updates will be sporadic at best now. But enough about that, here goes nothing!

Disclaimer – Still don't own

Hermione stormed into Professor Snape's classroom and through to his office. Slamming the door behind her she threw her bag on the couch and swept over to the fire. Here, she faced the flames and tried to warm her shaking, cold body.

"It seems you have been spending too much time in my presence, if your entrance is any to go by."

Hermione jumped when Severus's voice spoke from the desk. She hadn't even noticed him sitting there when she had come in. though she hadn't noticed much of anything in her flight from the head mistress's office down here.

"Should I ask or would you like to explain without prompting?" the potions master leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers over his chest.

"Bloody McGonagall, she keeps insisting that I talk about what happened, that I need to vent about it. I don't want to talk. She gave me these detentions to try and get me to open up, and no matter how many times I tell her, she keeps pushing. Today she suggested that I talk to Potter and Weasley. I told her it was pointless for her to keep asking and to stop. That's when she says that I have it easy in her detention sessions, just talking and drinking tea, and if I didn't give in she was going to have me writing lines."

"You already know where I stand on you talk about what happened. I agree with her, but I don't agree with her pushing you like this. It won't help anything if she forces you to talk. You will only grow to resent her and it will only irritate the problem more." Snape said.

"I don't want to go back to the common room. Can I stay down here?" Hermione requested quietly.

"You know where the spare room is." He said as he turned back to his grading. "If you need anything, get it yourself."

Hermione grabbed her bag and began to make her way through to her favorite professor's living quarters. The door on the left as she walked in opened. The brunette froze as Ginny Weasley walked out of Snape's library. They stared at each other for a moment before Ginny said, with a small smile, "Hiya Hermione."

Slinging her bag over her shoulder, the bushy haired witch turned and walked into the spare room. Tossing her bag on the bed she walked back out of the room. Entering the office she saw Ginny and Severus deep in discussion over a book, leaning a little too close together to be quite appropriate. The book that they were looking at was one that Hermione didn't recognize. The conversation seemed far too intimate for her to interrupt so the brunette walked back towards the fire and gazed into the flames, letting them take her away from the place where everyone seemed determined to make her relive an event that she only wished to forget.

She didn't know how long went by when she heard the door to Snape's office slam open. Draco Malfoy stormed through the office looking like a cloud of death was hanging over his head. Ginny instantly froze and straightened. Her eyes resembled a thunder cloud and she was immediately on the defensive. Hermione for her part was curious as to why Draco Malfoy, Severus's godson, would be so angry at him.

"You turned down my application!" Malfoy shouted. "Why?"

"Because Miss Weasley is a more qualified candidate than you are. Therefore it was a rather simple decision."

"I'm your godson and you picked her over me? You are sleeping with her aren't you? Does the Mudblood over there join you at night?" he sneered.

"Mudblood I may be, at least I'm not a Death Eater wanna be." Hermione hissed.

"How dare you, you filthy…" he never finished the statement as both he and Hermione felt a stinging slap connect with their cheeks. When the two had moved to be so close to each other neither knew. Nor did they know when Ginny had moved to stand before them rubbing her hands, the palms of which were a harsh red.

"Enough," the red head hissed. "Draco the war is over. Enough of your pure-blood activist bull that all of us down here know you don't mean." When Hermione looked smug Ginny rounded on her. "And you. What the hell Hermione? After the war you became a recluse and pushed everyone away. You became something you're not, so where do you get off calling him names? As for your comment about the professor and me sleeping together, no, we are not. So back off and cut the crap. I have better marks than you Draco. Grow up. You two are more alike than you even know. You are both determined and both startlingly intelligent. Why don't you try being friends for once since neither of you has anyone else. "

Hermione and Draco both stood in a daze as they watched Ginny stalk back into the hallway and turn into the library, astonishingly followed by professor Snape. They glanced at each other and shrugged. Draco waved in the direction of the sitting room and Hermione walked towards the couch. Neither spoke until they sat down.

"Look, Hermione, Ginny isn't so wrong. Most of the things I say are an act. I am so used to being the slimy git, and I freely admit that I am one, that I don't know how to act around other people. I guess I'm afraid. I mean look at how I treated your crowd before. They wouldn't take too kindly to me suddenly trying to be nice to them, and if I tried my crowd would have my head." He looked down at his hands.

"I don't have a 'crowd' anymore Draco. Being alone isn't fun so I understand, but if you want a friend, sort of, I don't trust easily and it will take a while before we can become true friends, you are more than welcome to hang out with me. I won't judge you, like Ginny said, I really have no room to talk."

"Thanks. I appreciate it. So, like you heard, I am rather proficient at potions, but my charms and transfiguration marks are down the drain. I was wondering, could you help me with it?" He looked rather sheepish as he made his request.

"Sure, I can tutor you." Hermione didn't even hesitate. Something else to keep her busy and keep her mind off her own life. Conversation from there flowed easily between the two and before either of them knew it Snape was sitting at his desk grading essays and Ginny was lying on a couch across from them reading. Hermione had, at some point flipped upside down and her feet hung off the back rest of the couch. She and Draco were discussing a book they had read when they heard a strange noise from the direction of Snape's desk. Reaching down and placing both hands on the floor, Hermione flipped her legs over and stood on her hands for only a moment before letting her legs fall and allowing her momentum to carry her torso up into a standing position.

Ginny and Draco for their parts were doing their best impressions of guppies while Hermione made her way over to Severus's desk. He was doing his best to hold in his laughter at something that a student had written. Hermione snatched the paper from his hand and began to read while the black haired man clutched at his sides. Instantly she recognized Ronald's sloppy scrawl. As she read it she began to realize what had the potions master in such a state of mirth.

_ …The Amorentia potion is simple to make. Add powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood…_

Hermione couldn't remain standing any longer. It was such a simple mistake that a first year would have caught it. She collapsed with tears streaming down her face, holding onto her sides and leaning against Severus's desk to support herself as she laughed hysterically. This caught Ginny and Draco's attention. Hermione never laughed anymore so it had to be something really stupid, and soon they had joined the other two in gasping breaths.

"His stupidity is astounding." Hermione commented as they settled down. Ginny was leaned against Severus's legs and Draco was leaned against Hermione's back, the two of them supporting each other. When the brunette realized Ginny's position she almost grinned, almost. She and Ginny weren't friends by a long shot but they were getting better.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N – So not as many reviews as I was hoping for on that last chapter, but that's ok. Live and learn. AND NOW! Moving on…next chapter! Here We Go!

That night Hermione had the same nightmare. This time though, there were more lights shining down on her, breaking through the darkness that surrounded her. When she looked up at them she counted 5 lights total, but then the voices broke through her reverie and shattered that hope once again. She woke up screaming again, drenched in sweat, still wearing the clothes she had worn the day before. Standing the young woman grabbed her skates and took off for the Gryffindor girls dorm room, just long enough to change and head down to the Room of Requirement.

Once again the room was set up for her to practice. As she moved around the ring she lost herself in the feel of her wheels beneath her and the air flowing over her face. Concentrating, she asked the room to rid the court of the spinning dummies. They vanished. She spun around and skated backwards. Then flipped up onto her hands and did a backflip on skates, then continued around the court. It had been Baby Doll's idea to combine acrobatics with skating. They had spent the entire winter holiday perfecting that flip. She and Baby spent a lot of time on their skates on and off the track. First and foremost, the jammer was a dancer. So, seeing that Hermione was slipping, she taught her how to dance, on and off skates. It was times like this when the brunette was grateful that she had learned so quickly. She began the first routine that her friend had taught her over summer break the year before the war had broken out.

What she didn't notice while she danced, was Rolanda walking in. The older woman paused and stared at the breath taking look of absolute bliss that seemed to take hold of Hermione and move with her. The happiness on her face was so tangible; one could have reached out and grabbed it for their own. The flying instructor was struck dumb by the beauty and grace of her movements, almost as if she were on ice. Her thick brown hair flowed at herself made breeze and the sport hardened muscles flowed like water beneath her tight clothing. She couldn't have looked away if she had wanted to.

The bell to call for breakfast sounded and snapped Hermione out of her reverie. She spun in place and faced the door to leave, but froze when she saw Ro standing there. She looked away and blushed. She heard the clicking of heels as the older woman stalked towards her and gently took hold of her chin and forced her to meet her yellow eyes.

"I am your friend, Hermione. You do not have to hide from me. You are absolutely breathtaking when you lose yourself in the moment like that. Never be ashamed of that. Please. Even if you only ever do this alone and I never see it again I will always treasure this memory, fore you were positively beautiful." Ro was staring down into her young friend's eyes and was completely astonished when Hermione's arms came around her willingly. Unlike the last time she had hugged the girl without really asking. She returned the hug and held the young woman close. The lithe body felt amazing against hers and pictures swam through her mind of Hermione beneath her, Hermione's legs wrapped around her hip, Hermione laying in her lap. She allowed her hands to skate down the smooth fabric of Hermione's t-shirt and caught herself before they slipped over her backside.

Hermione for her part was greatly enjoying the feeling of the strong taller woman holding her close and rubbing her back. She buried her nose in Ro's neck and inhaled her distinct scent of sweet grass, fresh wind, and clean clothes. Her head began to swim and images erupted in her brain of Ro laying above her, Ro slipping down her body, touching her, Ro running her fingers through her bushy mane of hair. Hermione shook her head and stepped back, blissfully unaware that Ro had been having the exact same thoughts. _'A strong, independent woman like her, could never want someone as broken as me.' _ She thought to herself and forced a smile up at her friend.

Ro watched the smile play around her friend's lips and felt instantly guilty. _'I want her to trust me. I can't betray her friendship like this. It would break her again. I can't do that to her. She would hate me.' _

"Come on," the instructor said, "Let's go find some food."

Breakfast was strange. Everything started out normal except that Hermione had entered the hall at Ro's side. She sat in her usual place and picked at a piece of toast. Things really got weird when Draco and Ginny got up from their respective places and walked over to where she sat. Without asking or being invited they sat themselves on either side of her and Draco leaned over, gently encouraging her to eat a little more. The entire hall went silent as he reached over and brushed her hair away from her face to inspect the bruises she had received from practice the previous morning. They all watched as he sighed, shook his head, and pulled his wand, casting a simple healing charm. The bruises healed up and Hermione growled at him. She had wanted those to be left where they were.

When she made to stand, angry at what Draco had done, both Ginny and Draco reached up, grabbed her arm and dragged her back down. Hermione sat grudgingly and listened as the blonde man berated her for being stupid about the bruises. He mentioned that logically, she was going to get more later, so what did it matter if her healed her in the mornings? He had obviously been asking Severus questions about her activities if he knew about her sport.

None of them noticed the hawk like eyes that narrowed and the fingers that closed tighter around her utensils. Nor did they notice the emerald eyes and long finger nails that dug into the table at the obvious friendship that was blooming between the blond and the brunette.

Lunch went in much the same fashion and before Hermione realized it, she was on her way to practice with Ro that evening after classes and before dinner. This practice progressed the same way the previous one had, with Hermione on the pole and the older woman moving around the track and practicing keeping her balance. This time though, Ro was dressed in a tight half shirt that showed off all of her midriff and extremely short shorts. When she was sure that Rolanda wouldn't fall and could keep herself steady on the skates she began to teach her some of the more defensive moves on the dummies.

"Elbows and forearms are some of the easiest ways to, for lack of a better term, 'bring down' your opponent. Use them. They are your best weapons. Practice these maneuvers." She demonstrated going around the track and slamming her elbow into where the collar bone of the person would be on the dummy, then showed her how to 'clothes line' her opponent. Afterwards she climbed onto her pole and watched while she danced.

The power and strength hidden in Ro's body was incredible. It was mesmerizing to watch as she made her way, round and round the track each time hitting the dummy with more and more force. Hermione couldn't help but stare at her friend. The shirt and shorts she wore left nothing to the imagination as to the Every minute they spent together she found herself growing more and more attracted to the older woman. _'That can't be true. We only started spending time together yesterday. How is this possible?' _ confusion over took her but she still was unable to tear her gaze away from the rippling muscle and well defined body that was Rolanda Hooch.

The bell for dinner sounded and Hermione slowly slid down the pole and slipped into her shoes. She slowly made her way over to Ro.

"You are doing an amazing job. You're picking this up much faster than I thought you would." Hermione told her.

"I have a great teacher." Rolanda winked and leaned down kissing the girl on the cheek. "I appreciate you taking the time to teach me this. It means a lot to me." She hugged the girl tight and received a hug in return. "Now let's get down to the Great Hall and get some food. I'm starved."

Hermione readily agreed and the two of them walked to dinner together again. This time only one set of eyes had jealousy written in them as they walked in, though two sets were jealous when Draco and Ginny sat next to her and they began to talk animatedly. She didn't notice when Severus leaned over and began to speak to her white haired friend.

"They would make a handsome couple wouldn't they?" Snape whispered.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Hooch gripped her silverware tighter and looked away.

"I am not blind. I saw how you looked at her this morning when Draco touched her. You want her." Severus hissed in her direction. "But it looks like Draco got there first."

Rolanda was silent through the rest of the meal, ate quickly, then left without a word.

When dinner was finished Hermione made her way from the Great Hall to the headmistress's office. When she walked in she immediately noticed the difference. On one side of the room, facing a wall, was a writing desk, ink, paper, and quill. In front of Minerva there was the chair that she had been sitting in the last 2 nights. Her mind made up quickly she moved and sat down at the writing desk where, written across the top of the paper, in Minerva's distinct handwriting, was _'I must not swear at my teachers.' _

"How many times would you like me to write this, Professor?" she said, pronouncing the title with clear disdain and venom dripping from her words.

"Until I say you may stop, Miss Granger." Minerva immediately jumped on the formal titles but the disappointment in her voice was hard to miss. Clearly she had hoped that her favorite student would forgive her outburst the previous evening overnight.

As Hermione began to write she let he mind wander to her feelings for each of the woman. Ro and Minerva. The young woman knew that she liked Ro, lusted after her even, but could she see herself starting a life with the woman? Could she fall in love with her? She didn't know. As far as Minerva went she knew that her former friends had sometimes teased her about her infatuation with the older witch, but could she fall in love with her either? Given the time, opportunity, and reciprocated feelings? Possibly. The chances of that happening though were slim to none. Her mind began to wander to other subjects, such as tutoring Draco. They had had their first meeting together during study hall that morning. She liked him. Not as a potential match but as a friend. Possibly the brother she never had. She was getting along better with Ginny now. She was beginning to see her in almost the same light she used to, a sister she had never had.

The clock struck midnight and Hermione kept writing. Her hand was beginning to cramp and she was starting to get angry. The older woman hadn't said anything since she had sat down and she was sure there was going to be bruising on her hand in the morning from where she held the pen. She heard a soft gasping breath behind her and looked around. The professor had fallen asleep at her desk. Hermione glanced back down at what she had written, 6 pieces of parchment, all saying the same line, _'I must not swear at my teachers.' _Over and over and over. Standing silently she gathered her materials and walked towards her professor's desk. Sighing she placed her quill and ink and parchment on the desk.

With a wave of her wand, Minerva's hairpins flew from her bun and her hair tumbled down around her shoulders. Turning Hermione quickly transfigured the couch into a bed complete with sheets and pillows. Then with a mixture of muscle power and magic lifted her headmistress into her arms and carried her over and laid her down. She transfigured Minerva's robes into nightwear and got her tucked in and secure. The older witch shifted in her sleep and caught Hermione's attention. A single lock of her jet black hair fell across her eyes. The brunette reached over and gently brushed it away, letting her finger tips graze the soft skin of Minerva's face.

"I wish I could tell you. I want so badly to tell you but I can't. I'm so sorry. I know I am disappointing you and I never wanted that. Things were so much easier before you found out about what I was doing. I didn't have to worry about seeing that look in your eyes when I looked at you. I didn't have to worry about over stepping my boundaries and letting you in." Hermione placed her face in her hands and began to cry, sitting heavily in the chair next to the couch/bed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." With that she stood and left the office, leaving a deeply asleep headmistress in her wake.

A/N—So this one came to me a lot easier than the last one did. I hope the next on comes just as easily. Read and Review PLEASE! Reviews are like crack to the review-crack-head population. Please feed our addiction!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N – Love the responses I got on the last chapter! Thank you everyone who has stuck with me through my random post times. I love you all! Now the new chapter!

The next day went much the same as the previous one. Hermione woke up from yet another nightmare and, as she was still staying in Severus's spare room, went to the girls dorm for another change of clothes, making a mental note along the way to grab another set before she went down to the dungeons later that evening.

She practiced that morning, dancing on her skates again. Again when she stopped Ro was standing there watching. They walked to breakfast together and Draco and Ginny sat with her. No one seemed to notice that the headmistress was staring at the young brunette with the strangest expression. Neither, did anyone notice that the flying instructor never took her eyes off her. Jealousy once again flashed through the hawk-like eyes as she watched Draco take Hermione's right hand in his left and begin to massage the tendons and muscles in them.

Lunch passed in the same respect. It was after classes when things started to go horribly wrong. She had spent hours trying to erase the disturbing images from last night from her mind. For some reason the dreams were tormenting her during the day now. Instead of going immediately to the Room of Requirement as she had for the last 2 days she instead ran for the bathroom. What little she had managed to eat during the course of the day, pitched itself from her stomach. It didn't take long before she had nothing left to pass and began to dry heave.

When her stomach finally stopped betraying her she sat back against the stall door and began to cry. Fumbling beneath her shirt for her new razor blade, she yanked the cap off and had just laid the steel, warm from the skin of her chest, against her arm, when a hand on hers stopped her. She looked up into the sad eyes of Ro, who was quickly becoming her best friend. The older witch gently pried the razor from the brunette's hand, then gently reached up and brushed the curly hair away from her face.

"When you didn't show for practice I got worried. I'm glad I got here when I did." She reached over and pulled a bit of toilet-paper from the roll and used it to gently wipe the corners of Hermione's mouth.

"Ro, I…"

"Don't. You don't have to explain. I understand enough that I know I don't need to pry. In time you will tell someone what happened." She conjured a tooth brush and toothpaste and handed them to the young woman with a sad smile. Hermione quickly opted to grab the offered items and ran for a sink to get the taste from her mouth. When she finished she turned to her friend.

"Let's go." Ro grabbed her hand and dragged her from the bathroom.

"Go where?"

"Practice of course. You need the stress relief and I need the practice. So let's go."

"Ok." Hermione hurried to follow and soon they were racing. "Last one there is a rotten egg." Hermione didn't know how Ro was able to turn her moods so quickly. All she did know was that the older woman made her laugh. She needed a bit more laughter in her life right now.

They made it to the door at the same time and collapsed against the inside of it laughing, leaning on each other for support as the slid to the floor. Ro was pleasantly surprised when Hermione leaned over and laid her head in the flying instructors lap. The older woman placed her fingers against the young woman's hair and sifted through the bushy locks. The two of them stayed like this for a long time before Hermione rolled onto her back and looked up at the hawk-eyed witch.

"Thank you." Was all she said.

"What for?" Ro responded.

"Making me laugh again. I believe that I can honestly tell you, that after only 3 days of spending any time with you at all, you are my best friend." Hermione whispered. She rolled and buried her face in her friend's stomach.

"I care about you, Hermione. I want to make you laugh. I can't say that I know how you feel. I have never been in your situation, but I can say that I will do whatever you need to help you feel better." Ro ran a gentle hand down Hermione's arm and back up to her shoulder and into her hair, combing through the tresses gently once again.

Hermione smiled. For the first time in more months than she could care to try and count, she felt content. In only a couple of days this woman had turned her world upside down and inside out from what she had been accustomed to. She snuggled deeper into her friend's warmth and felt herself drifting off.

_She was back, chained to that floor in Malfoy Manor. The vaulted ceiling stared down at her, taunting her, daring her to try and get away. She could feel the burning in her arm that told her the vile word was still carved into the flesh. She was shaking uncontrollably. Fear held her body paralyzed in an icy grip. Her eyes darted from corner to corner in the room searching for any sign of Bellatrix._

_She felt sick as the bottom dropped out of her stomach and she felt herself fall through the floor. She landed with a hard, sickening crunch as she looked around. There was nothing but blackness surrounding her as she slowly stood. Her legs felt like jelly and barely supported her weight. She took a step forward and fell into a pathetic heap tearing her already ratty clothing even more. She looked up towards the place she had fallen from. 5 small specks of light against the blackness was her only comfort here, one much bigger than the others, all pieces of hope against all the darkness that invaded her senses._

_That light was blocked out. "Why would we ever want to be your friend?" a disembodied voice asked._

_"You are too weird. Too smart. Unnatural."_

_"There was no real friendship."_

_"Too easy to fool."_

_Too easy to break."_

_Minerva and Ro's voices swirled around her, invading her mind and taking over her thoughts. She stood and-_

"Hermione… Hermione…HERMIONE!" The voice calling her was insistent and called her back out of her recurring nightmare. The only thing that ever changed was the people tormenting her. This time though, she wasn't alone when she woke. Rolanda was still seated, allowing Hermione to use her leg as a pillow. "You were having a nightmare. Are you ok?"

Hermione shook her head and pushed herself away from Ro. Her body trembled as the older witch took notice of her absolute terror and watched as the brunette stood and RAN! The flying instructor had never realized just how fast the young woman could run until she tried to catch her.

Hermione for her part ran for her life, or what felt like it. Ro had been there, in her dream. The one woman she thought she could trust above all others had been there. Confusion took over and she ran harder. Adrenaline and fear were Hermione's only companions now. She had let someone in and gotten hurt. But no? It had only been a dream right? It had felt so real though, and so much of that night was a blur. What if Ro really had been there?

She was stopped suddenly by something that felt like a brick wall. Strong arms went around her and she was trapped. She struggled, fighting against the steal bands that held her immobile. Not finding any relief from the trap she stopped moving and very suddenly dropped, using a maneuver that she had used many times in past bouts on the court, she fell from the circle of her captors arms and rolled to the side. Standing quickly she realized who it was that had held her. Minerva stood in front of her staring at her in confusion and worry. "Hermione?" she stretched a hand towards the girl and once again she took off.

Hermione ran frantically trying to get away from everyone. Spying a small crevice in the wall she slipped in, hoping against hope that she would be safe there. She shrank down and covered her face, crying into her palms so hard that the approaching footsteps were muffled by her sobs. It wasn't until a distinct, hateful voice spoke that she realized there was someone in front of her.

"Oh look, Goyle. The poor little Mudblood. Why couldn't you have the decency to die in the war? No one wants you here." Blaise was standing in front of her. His vicious words cut through the fog of her self-pity. Standing she drew herself up as much as possible.

"Shut up Blaise. The war is over. Enough with the blood purity thing already." She snapped.

Wrong thing to say. Goyle slammed his fist into her stomach and she began to slide down the wall. An arm wrapped, very gently around her shoulders. A soft voice whispered in her ear that she was safe and other random comforting nonsense.

Draco helped his friend stand then shot stunning curses at both his former friends. He hit them both square in the chest. Then quickly cast a patronus and sent a message to the Headmistress. He informed her of what had happened and what he had done, and proceeded to take his friend down to the dungeons.

"Come on Hermione," he whispered into her hair as he kissed the bushy mane, "Uncle Sev can help."

They reached the dungeons and Severus took one look at Hermione, her dark eyes filled with tears, her face red and blotchy from crying, and her arm wrapped around her stomach where she had been hit, and immediately ran for his store room to gather ingredients for a dreamless sleep drought and a pain relief potion. He called for Ginny to assist him as he pulled two separate cauldrons and piled the ingredients in each.

Draco sat next to Hermione, with an arm around her shoulders, petting her hair. She quietly whimpered and leaned over so her head was resting on his chest. The blonde man held her tighter and let her cry. She started to drift off to sleep again when they heard a very loud yelp. Ginny had been working on the dreamless sleep, and had cut her finger while slicing one of the ingredients. Severus moved quickly and grasped her hand before anyone else could move. The two on the couch watched as he drew his handkerchief from his pocket and wrapped it tightly around the wound. Ginny watched his face and both seemed to have forgotten that Hermione and Draco were even in the room as the potions master leaned down and kissed Ginny's cheek before whispering something in her ear. Draco gaped at them, his slack jawed expression making Hermione laugh loudly at the utter nonsense of everything that had happened that night.

"You know, if you don't close your mouth, people are going to start calling you frog-boy instead of the amazing bouncing ferret." Hermione giggled and Ginny let out a loud guffaw. Draco glared and tickled Hermione's ribs.

A soft knock sounded through the room and Draco got up to answer it. Standing on the other side was Rolanda. Soft whispering took place and the blonde stepped aside to let the flying instructor through.

"Mia," she began, "I don't know what happened to you, and I don't know where or when, but I wasn't there. Please, don't be afraid of me. I swear to you I wasn't there."

"How did you know what I dreamed?" Hermione demanded taking a step closer to Snape and Ginny on the other side of the room, farthest away from the instructor.

"Lucky guess. I know something horrible happened. It's only logical that your mind keeps flipping through people when you dream about it. Nightmares like that all follow the same pattern." Ro held her hand out to Hermione and waited.

"Draco?" Hermione whispered. Her question didn't need to be asked.

"No, she wasn't." came the immediate response from the blonde man.

Her first steps towards the older woman were hesitant. Then Ro held out both arms and Hermione sprinted to her. Strength and gentleness, power and kindness, hard muscle hidden behind soft curves enveloped her. One of the white haired woman's arms went around her waist, the other curled around and wrapped behind her neck and up to cradle her head in her hand. Ro's head came down and she buried her face in the brunette's hair.

Hermione's face was pressed into her friend's shoulder. Her arms were wrapped around the taller woman's waist. Her finger nails dug into her back. Desperately seeking purchase through the cloth, she held onto her as if her life depended on Ro being there, and for the first time, Hermione had the feeling that at that moment, it did.

A/N – Thank you for reading…NOW go review!


	10. Chapter 10

A/N – Thanks once again to all my loyal readers. I truly appreciate it. This story would have died a while ago if it wasn't for all of you guys. Feel free to message me. I love you guys !

Disclaimer – I still don't own I'm just taking the characters out for a joy ride. :D

Minerva McGonagall wandered the halls of the castle thinking about the things that had happened over the last few days. The first event on her mind was the night she had fallen asleep on her desk. She had felt Hermione move her and woken up but something had made her pretend to still be asleep. She had then heard every word of the young woman's confession. So as she walked she tried to figure out a way to deal with what she had learned. Hermione thought she was disappointed in her? Never. When she admitted it to herself, she had seriously inappropriate feelings towards the girl and couldn't be prouder of her achievements. Well, she also had to admit that she wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea of the girl playing this "Roller Derby" sport.

The sport, according to Hermione was an intensely violent one. In Quidditch, the players didn't actively attempt to hurt one another, unless the player was a Slytherin of course. So the thought of Hermione actively seeking to harm someone, even in a sport, was disturbing. As long as she had known the girl she had always been a gentle and kind person. Since the war, she had obviously become more violent and much less concerned about her own safety. This young woman who had come to mean so much to the older witch, the young woman that Minerva could easily see spending the rest of her life with, was quickly becoming someone she barely recognized. Whether she liked this person that the young woman was becoming was something she was still trying to sort out for herself.

She had just turned a corner to start down another hall when the sight in front of her made her pause. Draco Malfoy was beginning to lean in as if to kiss Hermione. The older witch couldn't help but cover her mouth to stifle a laugh, and step into a small alcove just around the corner, as Hermione's forehead snapped forward in a well-practiced maneuver and broke Draco's nose. "Damn it Hermione! You could have just said no instead of breaking my nose again," Draco exclaimed as he held his nose to try and stem the flow of blood now rushing from his face.

"Well I wouldn't have had to break your nose if you had asked first. I don't even like guys Draco! I'm a lesbian." Hermione snapped. "Sorry anyway."

Minerva heard the young man sigh and a small undignified squeak of pain when he mended the break himself. It was then that she drew in a deep breath and plastered her Professor McGonagall mask firmly in place. "Ms. Granger, where were you last night?" she demanded as she walked to the two oddly matched friends.

"I-I I'm sorry…" Hermione began to stutter out an apology but never finished it.

"I'm afraid I will have to add another week onto your detentions for skipping last night. I will speak to you about it more when you arrive this evening." That said she continued on her way to her office to begin tackling her mountain of paperwork before dinner.

Hermione watched her go and the feelings building inside her were completely conflicted. Why was McGonagall always angry with her all of a sudden? Why couldn't she bring herself to hate the woman with everything she had? What did the older witch want to discuss her missing last night's detention for? All this and more swirled in Hermione's brain as she headed for the Room of Requirement.

Today Ro and she were both practicing maneuvers on the court with the dummies and against each other. In the space of only a few days the older witch had managed to learn to skate and quite a few of the defensive strategies. At the end of the session they headed to dinner and Hermione sat with Draco and Ginny. She managed to eat a little more than normal and felt slightly sick after trying to force her body to take in more.

Dinner ended with no problems and Hermione made her way to the Headmistress's office slowly. She wasn't looking forward to another night sitting in an uncomfortable chair, at a desk that was too low and hurt her back, writing lines until her hands cramped. As she entered, Minerva beckoned her over to her desk. Hermione followed the silent instruction and stood before her professor waiting for her to make the first move into this discussion.

"Ms. Granger, I would like to discuss the reason you skipped your detention last night." She started.

"I can understand why you would like to discuss that professor but it's not something I would like to talk about. Yes I will admit that it has everything to do with what happened, but as I said I am not ready to discuss it with you." Hermione informed her. "Now if you don't mind, Professor, I would like to get started on my lines."

"Hermione, I want to help you. You know I would never hurt you. The last time I saw you yesterday you looked at me like I was trying to harm you. You know that I never would right?" Minerva tried to make the girl understand that she was only trying to be her friend.

"I don't know, Professor. Everything inside me tells me that I should trust you, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Don't take it personally though, I really only trust one person anymore." Hermione whispered. She wrapped her arms around herself and focused her eyes on a particularly interestingly colored stone on the ground.

Gentle fingers touched her chin and heat spread from the contact. Her face was tilted up towards the older woman, who was looking down at her, intently studying her face. An almost uncontrollable urge to kiss the lips that were only inches from her own took over her body. Minerva reached out and very gently brushed a curl of hair away from her face with her free hand. "I'm sorry Hermione. What I said the other evening was out of line and uncalled for. I just don't want you to be the last true victim of this war by taking your own life. Be it accidently or intentionally, I don't think I could bare it," was the whisper that fanned breath across her face. "You mean far too much to me and everyone else for me to watch you go through that. Please forgive my actions."

Hermione thought for a moment and realized then, that she wasn't ready to forgive the older witch. "I can't yet. You hurt me, Minerva. The things you said hurt, a lot, and I am not ready to forgive you yet." She whispered in return. "Now please just let me do my lines. I promise you that when I am ready to forgive you, you will be the first to know."

Minerva chuckled lightly at that, and then pulled Hermione into a tight hug, one that, to the professor's immense surprise, the younger witch returned tightly. When she released her, the brunette moved quickly over to the stiff backed chair and rough desk, sat down and started writing.

A/N – And there you have chapter 10. Sorry it took so long, there is way too much demanding my attention as it is. I beg your forgiveness. I do not have any idea when chapter 11 will be up, but as I said before, feel free to message me with any questions regarding the approximate time and I will answer to the best of my ability. Thank you all. Read and Review please!


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